Dear Austen Crush…

Dear Mr Darcy,

I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve years old. But as much as I love you, I know I wouldn’t want to meet you in real life. Or rather, I wouldn’t want to date you in real life (I suspect we would be excellent friends though). Because here’s the thing: as much as I wish I was Elizabeth Bennet, the truth is that I’m actually you. We’re both shy and reserved around new people with a tendency to feel awkward in large crowds. Neither of us perform to strangers. And while I’m not arrogant like you were to start, I have a feeling that sometimes people think I am when I first meet them. But I can accept all of that about you because I understand you, and love you.

But what I’ve come to realise over the last twelve years is that I don’t need another me in my life. We wouldn’t work out together. I need to find my own Elizabeth, like you found yours.

xoxo

Samantha

P.S. But you know, I would love to see Pemberley and that amazing library of yours that I keep hearing about. So if you and Mrs Darcy ever want to invite me over…

***

Dear Captain Wentworth,

Oh Captain, my Captain. My love affair with you may be newer but it doesn’t make it any less powerful. I spend half my time wanting to ravish you. The rest of the time I just want to give you a big hug and comfort you because you’re just a big ball of hurt. Of course, I also spend a lot of time wanting to just whack you round the head for the way you treat Anne. The polite, indifferent silent treatment isn’t very nice you know.

But you do redeem yourself, my gorgeous, hunky Captain. That letter? Swoon-worthy. Forget Anne Elliot, you leave me in half agony, half hope. You pierce my soul. I would be willing to board your ship any day, if you know what I mean.

xoxo

Samantha

***

Dear Mr Tilney,

My dear, lovable Henry. Out of all of Miss Austen’s heroes you are the one I would want to meet in real life. You’re sweet, and kind, and down-to-earth. But more than just those things, you’re also witty and funny and just a bit sarcastic. And I do love man that can wield sarcasm well. And you’re clever! Smart is the new sexy, Mr Tilney. I like that you can get jealous even if you try to hide it and laugh it off as nothing.

I get that Catherine is adorable, I do. But you know, she’s not the only girl around who is addicted to novels with a vivid imagination. I’m just saying. So you know, the next time I come to Bath I expect you to be there ready to sweep me off my feet, and carry me away to Northanger Abbey. Or even just to Woodstone.

xoxo

Samantha

Who are some of your favourite men from Jane Austen’s novels?

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Dear High School Crush…

Dear Hunter Niall,

You’re blond. And British. Holy Lord, that accent, swoon-worthy!  And you’re a Wiccan. (By the by, I happen to love magick you know.) You start off mysterious and everyone thought you were evil but you drew me in anyway. Because you have principles, and you’re moral, but at the same time you don’t mind bending the rules a bit if the occasion calls for it.

I love that you’re snarky. And reserved. And protective. And loving. And you don’t back down.

Can I please join your coven? I want to experience the magick that only you can show me. If you ever decide that Morgan isn’t actually your muirn beatha dan, I’ll be waiting.

xoxo

Samantha

***

Dear Rushton Seraphim,

Oh, Rushton. Whoever thought carrying piglets around could possibly be sexy? But you manage it somehow with your quiet, broody intensity. There is a good reason why you are the Master of Obernewtyn, and not simply because it is your birthright – you are a leader. Your Talent might be latent but you don’t need it. You have a quiet power all of your own in the care that you show for your people. You put the good of all before your own desires. Elspeth may be the powerhouse, and Dameon the heart of Obernewtyn, but you’re its backbone.

Plus, that little bit of a jealous streak that you have but try not to let people see? Turns me on just a bit.

I’ve loved you ever since I first met you carrying that pig. Just thought you should you know, in case you ever get tired of waiting for Elspeth to notice the obvious.

xoxo

Samantha

***

Dear Connor McDermott,

I seriously don’t care that you live in Sweet Valley (or rather, whichever nearby town it was that was close enough to Sweet Valley that you were forced to SVH after your school was destroyed). You were everything that I wanted when I was sixteen: brooding, sarcastic, sexy. Plus, you’re a musician. There is nothing sexier than that. And you were taking a creative writing class.

So maybe you’re actually everything that I still want. If you ever decide to exchange the sandy beaches of Sweet Valley, California for the sandy beaches of Sydney, Australia I am all yours.

And okay, you’ve got a pretty big problem with alcohol. But hey, I’d be happy to help you stay on the bandwagon any day.

xoxo

Samantha

Dear Harry Potter Crush…

Dear Draco Malfoy,

I kind of love you despite everything within me that hates everything that you are, in the books anyway. You’re bigoted, you’re racist, you’re a bully, and yeah, I could go on but I won’t. And yet, despite all that, there has always been something about you that has always drawn me in. And no, contrary to the popular belief of non-Draco fans, it is not because Tom Felton immortalised you in film.

You were a ferret-faced bastard, but I like to think that after the War you were able to redeem yourself in the eyes of yourself and others. I don’t care if you’re still a bastard, I wouldn’t want you any other way, but I do believe that you left your racism behind you after experiencing all you did in the War. I have no doubts that it made you a better man.

Oh, and by the way, you and Hermione are totally having an affair behind Ron and Astoria’s backs right? Right? Because if you’re not, you totally should be. We can all see how much you want her, Draco.

xoxo

Samantha

P.S. It was pretty harsh that J.K. pointed out your receding hairline in the epilogue, when she made no comment about the appearances of the older Golden Trio. But don’t worry, I’ll still love you even if you go bald.

***

Dear James Potter,

James, James, James.

Now what am I going to do with you, eh? I’m pretty sure that if Gilbert Blythe was living in 1970s magical Britain (as opposed to 1870s Canada), he would pretty much be you. All the girls love you and all the blokes want to be you. You both even have a gorgeous redhead that you’re in love with, but who won’t give you the time of day. But it’s not just because you’re so similar to Gilbert that I love you.

You are sweet, and kind, and loving, and brave, but you’re not perfect, thank Merlin. You can be a dickhead at times, but then so were we all at fifteen. What truly matters is that you stand up for what you believe in. You fight for what’s right, and you never give up. Despite the mistakes you’ve made, you are good, James. So very, very good.

xoxo

Samantha

P.S. No matter what Lily says, that ruffled hair look where you always look like you’ve just off your broom? It’s sexy. Very sexy.

P.P.S So are glasses.

***

Pretty much everyone out there has read Harry Potter and we all have our favourites. So who were your Harry Potter crushes? I’d love to know! 🙂

Dear Childhood Crush…

Dear Logan Bruno,

I thought you should know you were my first literary crush. Also my first real life crush. Long before I started dreaming about any of the icky boys in my class I was crushing on you.

Granted, I can’t actually remember much about you at all, past the fact that you were blond… You dated Mary-Ann, and I think the girls might have eventually made you an honorary member of the Babysitter’s Club? Oh, and I remember Mary-Ann slipping at some point and you catching her. I would’ve loved to be caught by you any day of the week. Just so you know.

xoxo

Samantha

***

Dear Gilbert Blythe,

I spent a long time loving you. (If you want to know a secret, I kind of never stopped.) I first met you when I was ten years old, not much younger than Anne was she met you. And you really weren’t that nice to start with. I mean really, pulling her hair and calling her names just because she wasn’t paying attention to you? Kind of a dick move. But I can forgive you because you were obviously so smitten with her from the start, which just made me swoon for you even more.

When I was a kid and I used to dream about getting married, the man I pictured looked like you – the dark hair, the hazel eyes. You were my ideal. And you were just so nice! Plus, it didn’t hurt that you grew into such a handsome, intelligent, lovely man. In a lot of ways you kind of still are my ideal. So, you know, if you ever need someone to walk home from the train station or classes with I would be more than happy to oblige.

xoxo

Samantha

***

This is the first post in a series of letters that I’ll be writing over the next few weeks to my literary crushes. I had far too many to squeeze into just one post so they’ve been broken up into categories. As you can see, these first ones are to the book crushes I had during my primary school/pre-teen days. Next up will be my favourite book boys from my high school years. 🙂

These were inspired by Meg @ Coffee & Wizards, who wrote her own Dear Literary Crush post that you should all check out. I’ve just borrowed the idea and am running away with it crazily.